The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

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I walked diligently, moistening my throat just enough to wet my cracked mouth, but I couldn’t find a single shadow of a person until the sun went down.

When the sun went down, the wilderness showed a different violent appearance than before.

The heat was gone and the cold came.
The hot wind lost its warmth and became cold.

It was Fried time.

Milanaire’s time and Fried’s time were just harsh to me.

The sand where my feet had been buried became shallow, but the ground was still dry.
All I can know is looking at the stars and finding directions.

But even that was obscured by the clouds along with the increasingly chilly wind.

Astronomy that I knew was not helpful, and I had to move forward only with the direction I had previously taken as a guide.

There was no light in the wasteland.

If I could handle the spirit of light, would I have been able to illuminate the dark path ahead?

Would it be different if it was Ray?

As time passed and I got more and more exhausted, the fear I had forgotten when killing Danny began to creep closer.

‘Is Danny dead? Or is Tutu coming back and chasing after me knowing that I have run away?’

Killing people wasn’t scary.
Because I’ve already killed a lot.

Still, strangely, my body trembled.

What scared me was my helplessness.

A feeling of helplessness that has no choice but to walk in the endless darkness without knowing where the destination is.

I wanted to pray to a spirit or a god, but I stopped.

Spirits will never come to me, and God will no longer be merciful to me. 

I was not worthy of God’s love.

Finally, my legs relaxed and I fell forward.
The ice-cold sand took me in.

There was a rough noise with every breath I took, and the cough didn’t stop because of the sand dust.
My body, which had been shaking since before, could no longer control it.

great.
It’s okay to die like this.

It’s much better than being executed in a tyrant’s crown or killed by a stupid kidnapper.

It wasn’t the life I wanted to live for a long time, and I didn’t want to leave a name for it.

No one will remember and mourn my death for a long time.

‘The life I came to pay for my sins, it would be nice if it ended sooner.’

I crouched against the rock and thought.

I waited for this punishment to end, thinking about why I was brought back to life, thinking of the many punishments I should have received.

Then a faint light appeared in the distance.
It sounded like the sound of horseshoes.

The flickering light at the edge of the horizon was getting closer.

It was a person

Why does God always torture me with hope?

Why can’t I give up my greed even after being like that?

This situation was wild and resentful, but because I was greedy by nature, I saw hope again, and I longed for my life.

I got up on the rock and raised my trembling hands, hoping the lights would find me.

“Here…”

My voice was dry and cracked, and I couldn’t make a sound.

I tried to call them with all my strength, but my voice was only scattered in the deep darkness.

I took a step heavier than ever.

to get a little closer to them.

Not knowing whether those wandering the wasteland during this night were bandits, good men, or slave traders, I hoped for a glimmer of hope.

‘It might be the one that Carnan sent.’

Someone might have sent them to find me.

Although it was funny that I thought like this even though I was neglected so much, I was originally that kind of person.
I wanted to believe that someone would love me.

But I couldn’t take a few steps and fell again.

The night sky, which even covered the moon, was really dark.
It looked like it was going to rain soon.
What a coincidence in this barren land.

I became more and more dazed, and I no longer had the strength to call on those lights.

“Princess!”

As I was losing my mind, it seemed that I heard a certain sound.

* * *

When I woke up I was in the Imperial Palace.

There was a wet towel on my head and my body was still grimy and cold.
The curtained room was dark, but only a small light leaked through the cracks in the door.

“They were unnamed kidnappers.”

“she has only been kidnapped by people like that?”

Carnan’s voice was heard from the doorway.

It was the first time he had come to my room, so I was shocked as if my heart would stop.

Carnan did come to find me.
I’m kidnapped, he is trying to save me.
It felt like it was burning in my chest.

Somehow he was my father who gave me blood…

“Everything annoying me.”

At that word that leaked through the crack in the door, my heart, which had been heated, became cold again.

‘Annoying?’

Everything I’ve been through has been dismissed as ‘annoying’ for Carnan.

“Find out who leaked this and deal with it.
And outside, announce that the kidnapping of the princess is false rumor, and anyone who repeats such rumors should be severely punished.

I heard Carnan sighing with annoyance.
The sigh became a dagger and stuck in my heart.

Seriously, what else did I stupidly expect? I must have lost my mind for a while because I was sick.

I clenched my teeth.

Maybe it was because my body was weak, so my mind was weak.

‘Carnan was originally like this.’

Carnan hated me from the beginning.
It was always my fault if I fought with Rey before returning, and it was also my fault that Rey did something wrong.

When Ray turned ten, He bought a steed for Ray, but when I turned ten, he didn’t take care of anything.

The birthday bouquet that my nanny gave me, it turned out that it wasn’t Carnan, but the people of the Imperial Palace.
Knowing it, I was so angry that I destroyed all the things in Ray’s room, and Carnan punished me for being locked in the room for a month.

After that, Carnan treated me as the embodiment of greed.

Yes, I was definitely a greedy person.
Because I wanted to have everything.

Like Tantalus, tormented by eternal thirst and hunger, I longed for all that Rey had, everything that I didn’t have, and everything that could make up for my lack.

I know it was stupid.

So I rationalized that I would be hated by Carnan because I was greedy.
That’s exactly what I wanted to believe.

But after the regression, too much has been proven.

I don’t fight Rey anymore or take anything from him, but Carnan still doesn’t like me.

‘I will be punished for being a tyrant.’

Yes, I am paying the price of the crimes I committed in my previous life here again.

I decided to rationalize it like that again.

Otherwise, I think I’m going to cry out loud.