The Reason I Keep Avoiding My Childhood Friend

Kir, who noticed that I wouldn’t give up my stubbornness, calmly held out his hand instead of rebelling this time.
Again, the movements were unnatural.
It was the arm that got hit by the book while blocking my head earlier.
I was sure he was hurt.

Kir was a right-hander.
But so far in the library, Kir has been using only his left hand.
He unbuttoned his cufflinks and rolled up his sleeves.
His hands have changed, but so have his forearms.
His bony arms grew quite thick.

I pouted my mouth in a strange feeling and checked where he was supposed to be injured.
The red area was quite large.
I was sure it will bruise over time.
It was not broken, was it? I gently pressed it.
Kir’s eyebrows narrowed slightly and then widened, but there was no big reaction.
His gripped arm didn’t even shake.

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s not broken.”

He answered once and for all.
But it didn’t feel very good that Kir was hurt because of me.

“Why don’t you tell me that you’re hurt?”

“I’m afraid you’ll worry.”

I expected it in my head, but it was so direct that my mouth fell open.
Was Kir like this? Wasn’t he the kind who pretended not to be blunt? Even if he has changed, he had changed too much.

Kir was calm, but I felt shy, my cheeks became hot for no reason.
Heat rushes to my face.
I was in trouble, but Kir’s eyes seemed to be watching me, so I let go of my hand holding his arm.

“I don’t know how to look at it, so let’s call the priest when we arrive.”

Embarrassed, I lowered his sleeves and tidied up his cufflinks.
However, Kir’s eyes stared at me so that I could not concentrate on this simple action.
The gaze was so deep that I wanted to scream why he was looking at me that way, so tension rose to the tip of my neck.

It seems that as his immature appearance disappears, he felt heavy.
Kir’s appearance, who had grown so fast, was unfamiliar.
I felt my throat was choking so I spat out something.

“It was bad that you didn’t reply to my letter, though.”

“Are you upset?”

Kir seemed indifferent, but when he wanted to find something out, he would ask persistently.
I thought it was okay.
Sometimes people realized things only after they say it out of their mouth.
I just thought Kir was mean and angry.
That’s what I thought.

However, when he was asked if I was sad, it felt like I was hit.
I must have been very disappointed with the trivial thing where Kir didn’t reply to me.

“Yes.
I was upset.”

It was not something to hide, so I honestly admitted it, Kir’s eyes, which had been looking at me leisurely, widened slightly before returning to their original position.
Then his lips loosened and his eyes curled.

Like putting something very sweet in his mouth.
It was like getting his hands on a gift he has been wanting.
It was a soft, heart-throbbing, bright smile.

He was always beautiful like a cherub.
When such an appearance lost its childishness, he shined with added destructive power.
I thought I was used to it, but seeing it for the first time in a while, that splendor seemed to have gotten stronger.
It felt like he could wield quite a few people at will with just that smile.

However, even such a beautiful smile now only looks evil to me, and the sullen heart grew bigger than the strange trembling.
I was telling you that I felt upset right now, why were you happy? Does it make sense to feel happy there?

The bad points of his character seemed to have intensified.
As the advantages increase, do the disadvantages increase as well?

“I’m upset? Are you enjoying yourself now?”

Kir’s smile evaporated in an instant with that.
And the purple eyes turned static.
Calm, quiet.
His grown-up atmosphere was still unfamiliar.
Kir opened his mouth very calmly.

“Aren, that’s what you wanted.”

I want what?

“What?”

Surely you don’t think I wanted you to not reply to my letter? I was taken aback by the staggering and absurd claims.
If yes, would I have sent him three letters? Well, I haven’t sent it consistently since then, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to receive a reply at all.