The Hated Male Concubine

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Therefore, how could Yihan explain the urge to run away he felt back then? The confusion that was close to fear that Yihan felt when he halted his steps and found Jeongan Palace before his eyes?

The hardest thing for him to understand happened after that.
If he walked here by mistake, then he just needed to return.
If he said the word ‘let’s go back’, then the palanquin that chased after the emperor would be prepared before him.
Then, the emperor would be able to walk away from Jeongan Palace and go to the empress palace, Unhwa Palace, or any other place without needing to walk on his own.

Nevertheless, Yihan didn’t do that.
He didn’t turn his steps.

Instead, Yihan left everyone behind and decided to enter Jeongan Palace alone.
Despite thinking that he shouldn’t do that; despite blaming himself for falling into Yeon Hwawoon’s cunning tricks; Yihan followed the road shone by the moonlight and couldn’t stop his steps.

He just walked searching for Hwawoon, who was in the garden, hushing down every mouth he encountered so that they could not announce his presence.
At that time, he couldn’t figure out what he wanted.
He could make a petty excuse that he came to reveal his true self at an unexpected time like last time, but the emperor knew that it was not true.

Then, when the emperor faced him in front of all the chaos;

When he saw Yeon Hwawoon staying under the moonlight in front of his complicated, chaotic, and fearful emotion; 

“I’m being far from His Majesty’s gaze is the way for me to help him.”

When he heard Yeon Hwawoon self-mocked himself with such a sad gesture and voice; 

The emperor didn’t look into what he felt then.
He didn’t want to know.
He thought it was fine and it was nothing.
Just like a bird that put its head in a pile of fallen leaves and mistook itself for hiding, the emperor simply repeated that this feeling was nothing.

The sorrowful face of Hwawoon under the subtle moonlight; the desperate yet anxious voice as if he was sincerely concerned about the emperor; and his heart, which started beating when he saw him with the tempo he felt for the first time, all meant nothing.
He thought so.

“Your Majesty…?”