Re-engraving the Spring

In order to make sure that his suspicions were correct, that night, while Chi Qiu went to take a shower, Lu Ming opened Chi Qiu’s drawer.

In the past, he would never touch Chi Qiu’s personal belongings like this.

Chi Qiu’s laptop had a password, Lu Ming tried Chi Qiu’s birthday, but it was wrong.
Then he entered his own birthday, still wrong.

The sound of water dripping could be heard from the bathroom.
Lu Ming thought of something, and with the mentality of trying, he pressed a date password.
He successfully unlocked the laptop.

It was the date of his first encounter with Chi Qiu.

In fact, Lu Ming didn’t remember the date, he tried this all because Chi Qiu casually mentioned it on the way back after meeting with Luo Yun.

Lu Ming had a good memory for numbers and he just happened to remember them.

…

At this moment, Lu Ming’s fingers stiffened.
Facing the clean and tidy desktop, he was a bit at a loss for a moment.
Slowly, he saw a folder on Chi Qiu’s desktop, named ‘Cry of a Bird- Outline’.
His intuition told him that once he opened this folder, he might be able to know Chi Qiu’s biggest secret.

Perhaps, there were more secrets other than the eyes.

But this kind of behavior was an offense to Chi Qiu.
Lu Ming should not open all of Chi Qiu’s secrets because of one secret.
He admitted that he was not qualified to do so, and should not do so.

Between hesitation, he thought of the laptop’s password again.
Those few numbers seemed to have taken root in his mind, making his heart, abruptly, feeling like it was tugged hard by something unknown.

In the next second, Lu Ming hurriedly closed the laptop and put it back into the drawer.

This password clearly told him that Chi Qiu loved him.

Just like the information from the initial investigation, for more than a decade, Chi Qiu had never stopped loving him.

But why exactly did Chi Qiu love him?

A brief encounter in spring, a brief licking of each other’s wounds, a brief and childish promise.
Could these things really sustain a person to love himself for ten years?

Could one continue to love him non-stop even when he saw him full of indifference and perfunctory?

If he could, then their first meeting must have been unforgettable, but why did he forget it?

It was still the same question, he couldn’t figure it out over and over again.

Lu Ming closed the drawer and fell asleep drearily.
Even when Chi Qiu came out of the bathroom and quietly pressed himself to his side, he was indifferent.

Chi Qiu touched his arm, thinking that Lu Ming was still angry with him for hiding the fact he went to the art exhibition from him.
He asked in a low voice, “Lu Ming, are you asleep?”

Lu Ming did not answer, but Chi Qiu clearly saw that Lu Ming’s eyes were open.

Chi Qiu pursed his lips, not knowing what to say.
He wanted to sleep in Lu Ming’s arms as usual, but was afraid that Lu Ming was still angry and would be unhappy.
So, Chi Qiu just lay flat and let his arms and Lu Ming’s arms pressed together.

Unexpectedly, Lu Ming moved slightly and turned his back to him.

And Lu Ming was not actually angry, just that this matter about Chi Qiu actually made him start to get upset; it was a state of mind that he had never had before.
He didn’t know what to say to Chi Qiu, and he didn’t know if he should ask Chi Qiu straightforwardly.

But his estrangement made Chi Qiu panic.

Chi Qiu grabbed the quilt, remembering what Ji Yanchen said during the day; it seemed that last night he threw up carelessly because he was drunk, making his body full of vomit…

Chi Qiu couldn’t even think about it.
He was sure that the person who cleaned his clothes last night must be Lu Ming.

He almost closed his eyes in despair and vowed never to drink again.

Although Lu Ming didn’t say he had a habit of cleanliness, he was also a person who loved cleanliness very much.
Last night, Chi Qiu not only went to the art exhibition without telling him, but also went to drink.
When he returned home, he caused everyone a lot of trouble.
Whoever encountered this would be unhappy too, right?

Besides, Chi Qiu was not sure whether he threw a drunken fit or not.
He was drunk for the first time and had no experience with anything.

After thinking about it for a long time, he was sure that he must have done something bad to Lu Ming.
That explained why Lu Ming became so unhappy that he didn’t speak much all day today.

Fortunately, Chi Qiu was a person who had the courage to admit mistakes and he was willing to take the initiative to resolve the conflicts between each other.

He gritted his teeth and stiffly grabbed the corner of Lu Ming’s shirt: “Lu Ming, I’m sorry…I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday.”

Hearing the sound, Lu Ming turned around in confusion.

He saw Chi Qiu frowning with remorse, looking like he was about to cry.

“I was drunk last night, I must have caused you a lot of trouble.” Seeing that he was willing to turn around, Chi Qiu immediately seized the opportunity to hug Lu Ming and rubbed against him, trying to ease the atmosphere between them by being coquettish: “I’ll tell you where I’m going from now on, and I won’t drink casually anymore.”

He took the opportunity to finish it in one breath, sniffling and begging for mercy: “Don’t be mad at me, okay?”

But, Lu Ming did not mean this at all.
He looked at Chi Qiu and finally realized that his attitude was too unreasonable.
Regardless of whether Chi Qiu’s eyes had regained the sight or not, he should not have treated Chi Qiu with such an attitude.

Lu Ming explained, “I’m not angry, I’m just thinking about things.”

Chi Qiu knew that Lu Ming would not lie to him, so he asked softly, “Really?”

“En.”

This time Chi Qiu was relieved.
His whole body was relaxed as he embraced Lu Ming aggrievedly and said, “You scared me, so you have to sleep with me tonight.”

Lu Ming did not refuse: “Okay.”

Chi Qiu was content to be wrapped in Lu Ming’s arms.
The fresh scent of lemon shower gel came to the nose as if it belonged only between the two of them.

Chi Qiu took a deep breath and was about to fall asleep peacefully when he heard Lu Ming ask him: “Chi Qiu, is there anything you’re hiding from me?”

Chi Qiu opened his eyes and was stunned for a while, not understanding for a moment what Lu Ming was asking: “What?”

Lu Ming did not speak, nor did he look at Chi Qiu.

Chi Qiu blinked blankly, thinking that Lu Ming didn’t mean what he said before, and that he was actually still angry about the art exhibition, so he honestly admitted his mistake again, “Lu Ming, I…”

Lu Ming listened to him patiently.

Chi Qiu said: “I really wanted to go to the art exhibition, even if I can’t see it.
But I was embarrassed to tell you.
I was afraid that you would think I was being unreasonable and creating trouble for Uncle, and also for you.” His voice was astringent: “But I didn’t think you would be so angry over this…I did wrong, I shouldn’t have kept it from you.
In the future, I’ll tell you everything, tell you where I want to go, and won’t let Yanchen take me blindly, okay?”

The topic went round and round and returned to the original point.

Obviously, no matter how sincere Chi Qiu’s apology was, the answer he gave to Lu Ming was wrong.

It was also clear that Chi Qiu did not intend to tell Lu Ming why he had to pretend to be blind.
But this was actually very important to Lu Ming.

After a long silence, Chi Qiu panicked.
He propped himself up, touched Lu Ming’s face and said weakly: “Can you not ignore me.”

So, Lu Ming answered, “Chi Qiu.”

Chi Qiu lowered his head like a puppy who made a mistake.
Lu Ming looked at his pitiful expression and slowly sighed, not intending to ask further questions.

He only said: “If you want to go to the exhibition again, I will accompany you.
You can also go with your friends.
Drinking is not a big problem.
You can drink if you want, but remember to contact me in advance.”

“Lu Ming? What are you talking about…”

“You can do whatever you want, you don’t need to change because of me.” Lu Ming interrupted Chi Qiu and closed his eyes first: “It’s late, sleep, ba.”

He sloppily ended the conversation.

Chi Qiu opened his lips, he was at a loss for what to say, not knowing what words were appropriate to say at this moment.

People didn’t get along well with each other, but he was Lu Ming’s partner, so he wanted to be tolerant of each other, understand each other, make changes with each other, and embrace a better life together….But Lu Ming was now saying to him that he didn’t need to.

They had been married for almost a year.
Chi Qiu thought he and Lu Ming had gotten closer, but at this moment, he suddenly realized that he actually still did not completely understand Lu Ming.

They were like ‘intimate strangers’, even if they slept together, even if they were in the same bed.

Lu Ming’s body seemed to be wrapped in a layer of hard armor.
Every time Chi Qiu pushed it open a little, the gap quickly closed again.

He couldn’t touch the Lu Ming who was inside the armor——the Lu Ming that Chi Qiu knew when he was fifteen years old.

He had already lost him a long time ago.

 

 

The author has something to say:
The broken mirror1break up is indeed unfolding little by little.
The broken mirror in this story may not just be like picking up the mirror and then dropping it.
But it will be first poked with something little by little, and then a lot, and later the mirror will shatter on its own.
And there is still a big point that breaks the mirror to come…

 

 

1break up