Purple Summer

”Dad ….dad …. Dad - ” I whispered to him as I tried to wake him up.He got up aggressively and said

”What the hell you want !? ” I backed away as hes fully awake now.

”Can you teach me how to drive ? ” I asked as he got up slowly and said

”Ahhhh, alright lets go …. ” I was stunned to hear this as he started getting his keys and putting on his shoes.

”Right now ? ” I asked as he said

”Yea stupid, lets go … ” he started walking towards the street as I followed.We got to his car, a 08 Nissan Sentra.I got in the passenger side as he drove me to an empty parking lot next to a run down skating rink.We drove as we passes by other cars as he started critiquing them.

”Look at this idiot right here, hes doesn have a turn signal on, so who knows where hes going ? ” He says angered as he lowered the window and yelled out to the driver

”Piece of shit ! ” He continued driving as I just listened, this is the most time Ive spent with my father.We got to another driver with no turn signal and a cop car in front of them,

”Look at that, another moron, doing it in front of the law … ” he says as we pass by the cop car about to turn left.The cop also doesn put a turn signal and dad angrily says

”Well never mind, they aren godo role models either I guess … ” I just kept my eyes on how he drove and his form of calmness as he did it with such ease, yet gets so angry at any given moment.

We arrived as he parked, he turned to me and said ”look, this whole P-R-N-D-L shit, the only ones youd need to worry about is P, R and D, the rest can ** off … ” he says as he shows me as he backs out in reverse and looks at the mirrors and says ”always focus on these things when getting out, you got Reverse, then when you
e backed out enough to exit, hit Drive, thats D…. ” He says as he drives a bit to another parking spot as he pulls up to it.He parks as he says ”and this, what I did, its Park, P , thats what you do when you
e good to get out … ” he says as I look on as he looks at me and sighs.He gets out of the car and says

”Come on ….you
e turn … ” he says as I get out now and step into the drivers seat.I sit there as the car is still in park.

”Alright now whats the first thing when you get into a car - ” he says as I interrupt and say

”Seatbelt…. ” He nods and says ”exactly …. ” We both put them on as I get my hands on the wheel, it feels thrilling.

”Alright now put it in, reverse and gently start hitting the pedal, go easy then put some force … ” he says as I do so.I do it slowly as he says

”Hit the pedal, hit it ! ” He yells as I say as I reply

”I am , I **ing am … ” he gets more furious and says

”Don use that language with me boy, now hit it … ” I give it a bit of a push as we
e a bit backed.

”Alright, now switch to Drive … ” I do so as I start to steer out as he yells more

”What and you doing ?! ” I got scared as I say

”Im driving …. ” He gets annoyed and says

”Don be a ducking smart ass …now drive up to the that parking spot …. ” He says angered as he points it out.I started driving casually as I got up to it am about to slow down in the pedal and switch to park as he yells out

”Alright switch to park, Park ! ” He yells as I do so and says ”there I did, I am ! ” He heavily breaths in anger as were silent for a moment as he says

”Alright, lets do that again …. ” I start to put it in reverse and back out as he says ”what are you doing ? Give it some pressure ! ” He yells as I say hit the pedal more and say ”I am ! ” He gets more furious and says ”don you **ing yell at me, shouldve put you in that asylum talking to me like this …. ” I just couldn handle this anymore, on top of being high on those pills, I am too nervous to keep going so I got Park.I take off my seatbelt as I say ”I can , I can do this shit…. ” He gets confused and asked

”The hell you mean ? ”

I stepped out and started walking as he got out as well.

”The yelling, the way you talk down to me …its not right, Im done …. ” I say as I walk away.He stares at me in distress as his expression turns to anger as he yells back

”Alright, walk home….you need the exercise…. ” He gets back in the driver seat as he drives past me as I walk in misery.

”You asshole ! ” I yelled out as he flipped me off as he drove past.I was angered as I went to nearby liquor store.I entered as I won straight for the freezers.I gave a look at the energy drinks in there and gave me the memories of when I sold them, this place was probably a customer.I got myself some cookies and an ice cream sandwich.

”Five dollars … ” said the clerk as I hand him exact change.

”Have a good day … ”. I say as I exit with the sandwich in hand and box of cookies under my shoulder as I put away my wallet.

”You too… ” replied the clerk as I left.

I ate the ice cream sandwich on my way home as I stumble upon a homeless guy walking with a shopping cart full of his things.I walked aside him casually as we walked the busy street, he looked at me confused.

”Kid you alright ? ” He asked as I replied with a smile

”No just walking man … ” I say as he ignores me but I still walk aside him at his pace.He stops as I stop and he says ”the hells your problem, you stupid or something ? ” I turn and jokingly say

”Stupid is as stupid Be sir, no Im just seeing if you
e hungry or something ? ” I asked as he offendedly says

”What just because I look homeless and am carrying my home on a shopping cart, you think Im starving ? Because if so you
e right, hehe … ” he changed his demeanor as we both laugh.We continued to walk as I gave him my box of cookies and I continue to eat my ice cream sandwich.

”God bless you … ” he said as he started walking faster, assuming Ive finished my charitable deed.I caught up a bit and said

”Hey wait…..where you going man … ” I asked as he said

”Nowhere really, I just walk … ” he answered as he stopped.I stood aside him and asked

”I thought you were hungry ? ” He got the box of cookies and said

”Yes and Ive got my lunch now, thanks to you …hehe … ” he started to walk a bit more as I said

”Hold up, look you want some burgers ? ” I asked as he turn slowly and said

”Are you **ing with me ? ”

I laughed a bit as I said

”No man, no, you want to get some burgers ? ” I asked as he looked happy to what Ive said as he said

”Id love too …. ”

I walked with him to his little spot in this Suburban neighborhood he rest at.He left his cart full of his belongings as no one really wants to steal it around here.

”You sure they won take it ? ” I asked as we walked and he replied

”No, of course not, these people here know me by now, they won bother … ” he says as we start to heading to get burgers.

We make it to this spot called ”The Gambino ” as we he stood still.I was walking in until I noticed he was waiting

”Come on man … ” I said as he replied

”Ill just wait out here … ” he looked nervous as I see why.Hes dressed in raggedy clothes and looks dirty but why give a shit, you know ?

I walked up to him and said

”Come on just come in- ” he got defensive as he said

”Listen I understand you
e doing good but I want to wait here ….. ” he says as I start to walk until I turn and ask

”What do you want to eat ? ” He thought about it as we stood there and said

”Some cheeseburgers and fries would be nice … ” I nodded and remembered his order as I walked in and got in line.I waited a bit as it was finally my turn, ”next in line ! ” Yelled out the worker as I approached and said

”Hey let me get 3 cheeseburgers, and some large fries and a large cup ….. ” He started to ring it up as he said

”Alright thatll be nine dollars and forty-six cents ” I get out my wallet and hand over a ten dollar bill as I say ”just keep the change … ” he finishes up as he hands me my receipt.

”Alright your numbers 226, you
e order shall be called upon shortly and thank you for choosing The Gambinos …. ” He said happily as I got my cup as well and headed off to the soda fountain machine.I don know what soda hed like so I just got Sprite.I waited as I sat down, I looked around to see families lovingly eating together, it has me thinking.Maybe my life could feel whole with something to be my legacy, I don know.

”226 ! Order 226 ! ” I hear as I get up with the receipt and say ”right here …can I get some ketchup and Buffalo sauces please … ” I asked as he says

”They
e already in the bag… ” I was smug as I said

”Oh thank you… ” I walked out with the food as I see the man sitting on a bus stop bench.I walk up to him and say

”I got the food man ….eat up now before it gets cold … ”I said as I Passed him the bag and he when and got the things out.

”Oh thank you kid…. ” I sat down next to him and said

”You
e gonna take the bus ? ” He ate his cheeseburger and said

”Yep, I still got 20 minutes before it arrives …. ” He ate happily as I got out four dollars and handed it to him and said

”Here, for the bus … ” he took the money and said

”You
e just an angel sent from heaven aren you ? ” we laughed as he put ketchup on his cheeseburger and ate it all up.

”No Im no angel, I know Im going to hell … ” I said laughingly as he said

”Oh nonsense now, you
e too young to be full of sin, you still got decades to grow and relapse on what god had meant for you …. ” I took that into account as he continued to speak and asked

”I mean what wrong have you done in this world huh ? Many have done worse and have given the lord another chance …. ” I thought about it as I processed the question.

”Well, freshman year was my worst, I was an ass, the rest of high school was my Magnum Opus, Ive done such wrong and did people wrong that I just wish I could make it right one day, You know ? Like if I could go back in time to at least fix their perspective of me, seeing Im not a total douchebag ….hehe … ” I said a bit jokingly as he started to finish his second cheeseburger.

”Well look, in this world, people are going to have you regardless, envy is a dangerous emotion that many neglect to see they show, don ever lack that confidence to be a moral man, just live to the reality that life is a bitch, but you make the most of it with your own ambitions … ” you said all this as he devoured the fries, this man is speaking factually.

”Im about 46 years old and Ive seen and done many bad things but I know I can change as Ive let god into my life again, I mean look you, a complete stranger bought me food out of the kindness of your heart, thats truly gods vision of this world…. ” I just loved the way he worded this as I sat there happily and questionable.The bus was arriving as we noticed it in the distance.

”Wow, I never really saw it that way…. ” He got up and threw away what he finished as he stuffed the last cheeseburger in his coat pocket as the bus arrived.

”See you around …..til next time kid … ” he said as he entered the bus.

”You getting in ? ” Asked the driver as I quickly said

”No ….. ” the driver closed the bus as he headed off.I sat on that bus stop bench as I thought of changing my life right there.No more pills, get rid of the mix that I made and get clean.

So I did so, I changed my act and started going to church every Saturday and Sunday.It was me and Amelia as its been a couple weeks since Ive met the man.I firstly changed my ways as I knocked on a neighbors door who knows my family pretty well, hes a good guy.

”Hello sir …. ” I said as he said

”Hey Ray, whos your dad ? ” he asked as he opened the door and I replied

”Hes doing alright, hey I was wondering….can you teach me to drive…..? ” I asked nicely as he thought about and said ”okay, you want to go right now ? ” He asked as I said

”Sure, sure Id love too … ”

Well with that spark I learned and learned as I was ready enough for him to let me go on my own, I put my faith with god that Ill do good.

I drove me and Amelia around the neighborhood as I stopped by at my neighbors home.She clapped as she said

”Good job, you it was just getting rid of those nerves … ” she said as I replied

”With the grace of god, these nerved mean nothing … ” I said smilingly as she got out the car and my neighbor was waiting on the sidewalk as he looked at his car to see it still in-tact.

”Well you got it down kid….here ….. ” he said as he gave me his key holder for the Car as I said

”What you
e letting me keep it ? ” As I looked at the car, a 1970 Datsun 510 .

”Nope, you gotta learn things in life and this is ones of them, nothings free, Ill let you try it out for a while but just know Ill start asking you to pay for it slowly and slowly … ” he said as Amelia said

”What, no Ray this things costly, well just go for something cheaper ” I was hesitant to say ”no thanks ” but I just don know what it is about this car, I just can leave it.I mean Ive been using it for weeks now, why desert it.

”No Ill take it, how much we thinking ? ” I asked as he said

”Since I like you, Ill drop it down to 15,000 $… ” Amelia was at shock and said

”Ray we can get something cheaper….save us some money …. ” I turned to her slowly as I said

”Sweetheart, please …. ” I said as she scoffed and ignored the conversation.

”Sir, I respect you and I love the car, lets say 12,000$ ? ” I say as he laughed and said

”Fine, but you lucky I like you so much kid …. ” I laughed as we shook on it and I took the keys, fully.

So Saturday came around and I drove me and Amelia to the House of faith Church, it was a 10 minute drive from her home.

I was singing along to ”Nazarene ” by Johnny cash the whole ride there as she looked annoyed but still showed support to my new ways of living.Weve been going for weeks now as we
e regulars around the place.

”You being my bible ? ” I asked as she gets it out of her purse and says ”right here … ” I got a bit annoyed and said

”Now I told you don leave it in there, you can blind the word of god like that, always carry with you in your hands- ” I said as she mimicked my last few words

”In your hands….I know Ray, I know … ” she started to look out the window as the song changed to ”He Touched Me ” by Elvis.We almost arrived as Amelia remarked

”You know I don think Johnny cash and Elvis fall in line with these peoples message …. ” I turn to her calmly and reply

”The pastor said ”as long as the word is spread and is in good health, you can enjoy …. ” So I think its fine to play … ” we pulled into the parking lot as I parked.I was dressed in my same black Stacy Addams shoes and a stripped blue and white shirt sleeved button up shirt, along side my khaki pants and wearing my Jesus piece.

”Hey you two ….see yall inside ? ” Said Mark, a new friend weve made.

”Yep, well be right in … ” I replied as he started to enter.This church is usually packed so we have to hurry to get seats.Amelia is wearing a red dress with white dots and red high heels.Amelia cleaned off her dyed hair and went back to her natural black hair.We walked in as we gave waves and hellos around as we haven started yet.

”Ray look at you, looking good as always … ” said Smith, another friend weve made.

”Thank you, thank you, you didn bring the kids today ? ” I asked as I look at there usual place they sit is more empty, just his wife.

”No, no they went with the aunt to a water park, I allowed it because they deserve it … ” he said as Amelia said to me

”Imma go get our seats … ” I nodded and said

”Okay, love you … ” I said as she walked away.Me and Smith watched her for a second as he asked

”So, uh next Friday, we
e having a little picnic here, next to the parking lot, if youd like to contribute … ” he asked as I seriously asked

”Yea of course, you need some more money or you want me to bring some food ? ” He got to smiling as he said

”Yea we need about two thousand dollars more, we
e gonna have dozens coming to eat.I got out my wallet and said

”Here, just make sure they eat good … ” I said as he stopped me and said

”Oh I can take that in here, just put it in the basket that comes around, alright ? ” He said as I nodded and said

”Yea, yea I got it … ” he patted me on the back and went to sit next to his wife.I really hope this fortune goes to someone who deserves it soon.Smith is a big helper around this church as a man named Cain Johnson, the pastor.

The whole day finished as weve been in there for 4 hours, I stayed awake through it all.From the singing to the pastors jokes and the band who sang for us, it was a magical feeling.We left as I drove us back to her home, I parked on the street.

”You coming in ? ” She asked as I thought about it and said

”Sure … ” I got out and followed her into her apartment.I locked the door on my way in as she looked at me sexually as she started to flirt.

”Big man of god … ” she said jokingly as she took off my belt.I laughed and said ”alright, what are you doing huh ? ” I said laughingly as I she dropped my pants.

”Galatians 5:19 ….. ” she whispered as I got here off me as she started grabbing up on my chest.

”Hey come on, don joke about that …. ” I had her laid on the couch as she looked frustrated and said

”Come on ….just playing around … ” I put my pants back on and fixed my belt.I started waking out as she through a pillow at me as I left.

”Hey ! Where you going !? ” She yelled out ad I got back in my car and started to drive off.I started driving back to the church as I saw it was still open.I smith as he asked

”Ray, you alright ? What happened ? ” I got up to the steps and said

”Is the confessions booth open ? ” I asked as he pointed it out in the church and said

”Yea, go ahead son …. ” He looked at me cautiously as I entered and walked straight to the booth.I got in as I waited a moment,

”Forgive me father for I have sinned … ” I said as the man said

”Explain my son…. ” I gave it a second as I said

”I have nearly adapted a form of adultery ….. ” he took a moment and said

”Why did that occur ? ” I took a moment again and said

”I didn mean too, I was given the opportunity and backed away, I know its not allowed father and thats the reason I got myself away….. ” it took a moment as the father said

”Did you feel like encouraging the behavior ? ”

I thought about is and replied confusingly

”Uh, I can lie to you father I did feel aroused but I fought my urges…. ” He interrupted and said

”Okay my son, I understand, is there something else you want to tell me my son ? ” I thought for a moment and said

”Yes, there is, Its not my sin but a sin of others, Id love you to forgive some others if thats allowed ? ” He quickly said

”Yes my son, go ahead … ” I thought about it and said

”Well I was about 12-13 years old, it was at at a field trip to a high school, I went to use the restroom on our break and I walked out of the stall…it was about 4 students, they surrounded me and I ignored it for a second and walked up to wash my hands …. ” I said as the Father kept listening.

”well I finished up washing my hands and tried walking out the bathroom until they blocked the exit, they started shoving me around and beat on me …..kicked me around and laughed as they did it…..I was helpless …. ”

The father sounded disgusted as I continued

”Suddenly a security guard came in and stopped them, he didn come to my help but he stopped the students from hitting me, one guy got one good kick in my face as I curled up in a ball, you se back then, I was really fat and small so it looked easy to pick on me, so Father I got up and cleaned the blood off my face on the sink ….. ”

the father was at shock as I finished up

”I cleaned up okay as I walked out the bathroom with a limp and defeated, what I hated the most, I got back in line with my group as the students were walking by as they laughed at me…they had pride in beating me badly…..so I say father I hope you can forgive them, Id never see them again but god sees them everyday and they
e probably struggling so please, I hope they
e forgiven …. ” It was silent for a moment as I held back tears until the father said

”Repeat after me my son, ”O my god, Im sorry Ive offended you …. ” I took a moment and said

”o my god, Im sorry I offended you … ”

We finished up the act of contrition as I exited the booth, feeling a lot better to get that off my chest.Not many people knew that happened to me but not many wouldve cared.I started walking out of the church as I felt so free now.I made it to my car as I saw Smith call upon me

”Hey Ray , listen Im sorry to bother you but we
e a couple dollars short for the picnic- ” I understood and said

”How much do you need ? ” He quickly said

”About three hundred dollars … ” I took out my wallet and gave him the money as he said

”God bless you my son, see you then okay ? Drive home safe … ” he took the money and I got back in my car and said

”Its alright, stay safe too … ”

I got back to my home as I parked in the street and walked in to see dads asleep on couch again, the tv as always still on.I walked back into my room as I had my little shoebox filled with my old self.It had my switchblade, my lighter, my dirty money, about five thousand and my old pills.I had them as a memento to my old self.I was a changed man for my destination is a heavenly paradise I shall rejoice one day.