Pandora’s Box

ask me like this a lot beforehand.

I do.

I miss you so much.
.
.

I am not lonely,

You are always by my side.

…

I had not finished my poem yet.
But I was kind of thirsty, so I put down the pen, opened the refrigerator, and took out a bottle of black tea and took a drop.

My precious box was in the refrigerator.

The box reminded me of him, Jing Haozhi, the one I both loved and hated.

One deep night half a year ago, I lost sleep.
At two a.m., I picked up my phone and dialed a random number.
Unexpectedly, the call was put through.
And a few seconds later, someone at the other end of the line answered.

“Hello?”

It was a man's voice, which was low, cold, and kind of mysterious.

I was stunned a little bit, and then I answered in a soft tone, “I lost sleep.”

A few seconds later, the man said, “Me, too.”

He did not even ask me who was I.
Such a weird guy!

Weird? Was not I a weird person also?  

I was an introverted and even isolated person.
I was an orphan and had no relatives or friends.
Since childhood, I had been living in my own world.
I always thought that the world was gray and dark, and there was nothing worth cherishing.

We kept silent for several seconds before the man spoke again.

“Why did you lose sleep?”

“No reason,” I replied coldly.

“Are you upset?” the man asked in a frosty voice.

“I have never been happy,” I said.

“Em?” The man paused for a while, and then said, “Then divide a half of your sorrow to give to me.”

“Why?” I asked with curiosity.

“No reason.” The man repeated my words from earlier.

“Then .
.
.
” I took a breath and said, “I will divide a half of my sorrow to you, and you should divide a half of your happiness for me.”

I heard the man breathe softly, and he said a few seconds later, “I have never been happy, either.”

We talked about some things normal people considered nonsense until five a.m.
before we hung up.

At two a.m.
on the second night, my phone rang.
It was the man who chatted with me the night before that called me.

“Hello?” I said.

“Did you lose sleep again?” he asked.

“I am waiting for your call,” I replied.

“If I did not call you, would you just stay up late?”

I paused for a moment and said in a low voice, “I am sure that you would call me eventually.”

“Correct.
I will call you every night as long as you like,” the man said.

We ended our dialog at five a.m.
again.

On the third night, my phone rang again.

“May I have your name?” he asked.

“Lin Jing'er.”

“Em .
.
.
“

“And yours?”

“My name is .
.
.” The man took a breath before he replied, “Jing Haozhi.”

On the seventh night .
.
.

“I think we have the same personality,” I said.

“Right.” Jing Haozhi said, “I feel like you are just another me.” Then, he suddenly said, “I want to marry you.”

And I replied, “I want to marry you, too.”

After saying that, my cold heart actually moved slightly.

He said softly, “It just like I will be living with another me.”

On the thirtieth night .
.
.

“That night I just dialed a random number and I met you.
If at that time I had dialed another number, then we would never have met each other,” I said with deep feeling.

“No,” he said.
“In the midst of it, everything has been predetermined.
Even if you didn't dial my phone that night, we would still meet each other, at another time, in another way.”

“You are so good.”

“Life, it is very mysterious.”

The 100th night .
.
.

“If you die, I won't live alone,” I said.

forever.”

“Before I met you, my world was gray and dark.
Because of you, I realized that there are things in the world that are worth cherishing.” After I said it, I paused for a moment, and then added, “You and I, being together forever is the agreement between us, and I will never forget it until my death.”

Such calls had lasted for half a year and never stopped.
Chatting with Jing Haozhi every night had already become a part of my life.
Before two a.m., I couldn't sleep at all, and until five a.m., after I hung up, I could sleep peacefully.
If, one day, my phone no longer rang, would I never fall asleep again until my death?

Last month, we almost said in unison, “I want to see you.”

So, the next day, I met Jing Haozhi for the first time in a cafe near his house.