Mint And Martin Book:1

Before the day when I came out, I remember, for the past few years, theres a lot of things going on my mind. it wasn clear so I always ask myself.

”What am I? ”

this question always arises in my mind all the time. make myself stuck between the two sides.

”Should I go out with girls or should I go out with guys? ”

apparently, attraction toward boys is more than girls, like, 60%-40% ratio. but this also confused me a lot. am I gay? then I say no, not possible, I like girls.

or I like guys?

ah! dang, it!

Im so frustrated by this disruption.

you might be thinking why is it like this? but I guess you already know. cause my readers are well educated.

my experience was no good at this…

I mean Im neither a gay not a straight one, right?

it kinda feels so heavy on my chest to hold this all these long years. keeping it inside all along. I know there is something wrong in me, when I reach at my age 15 years I already know who I am.

on one night I spoke my lungs out.

”I like boys too. ”

This sentence let the whole surrounding to go speechless…

it was a scene, my mom was reading her book and dad was just looking into the newspaper while sitting on the sofa, when the news flashes.

they turned into me,

of course, they look different cause its wasn a joke at all.

they seem a little tensed and see each other after they looked into me. daddy get the newspaper out of the face and put it into the table and my mom was like… just shut her book.

that was embarrassing I guess so the environment was quite a bit for a half minute.

my dad spoke out of this silence.

”Listen ”

I swallowed my saliva and prepare myself to talk openly about it. when I got ready I looked into his eyes.

and spoke before they can do any further action

”mom, dad I don how to say it out

I know it is hard to believe that I like both genders, cause I never saw my other side.

I know that I like girls, but its not bad for being liking boys too.

maybe as a son, I disappoint you.

for that, Im sorry.

Im sorry for being like this mom and dad, but, I don wanna lie you any more.

I don know why Im like this, I tried not to attract towards guys, only to stick with girls like normal people do, but I can help it. ”

I cried out.

”I can lie, to myself.

and my family should know about this first.

yes,

Im bisexual. ”

my dad looked disappointed he was silent, but, inside I know he must have something in mind.

my mom came to sit next to me, I can forget she was having tears in her eyes, she holds my face and smile. and looked to dad and nod head in tears.

maybe they didn know how to deal with this situation right now.

so,

they didn speak that night.

from that night I haven tried to talk to them until,

2 days after I was leaving school I haven had my breakfast so to grab something I went to the kitchen. at the door of the fridge.

a post-it note was stick by my parents, it says

”we are sorry to not take care of as you wish for. we don know how you feel all these years alone kept yourself in closest.

we can understand, for now, but willing to know more about you.

and don worry things will be same as before. ”