I moved back to country side

We all have scars,

Some hidden some shown,

Humans said, ”love yourself and, its all fine. ”,

But no one mentioned ”How to love yourself? ” or why Love yourself?

Evan was reading the poem he wrote in high school. Last nights inspiration and hope were out of the window. Evan was depressed today. Its not like he was weak to get up, or he didn wake up. He chose to wake up, but not eat or speak and work continuously. The only work he was left with was to find/apply for new jobs.

So, he spends a whole day on his desk, without food or sleep.

A week passed, Evan refused to rest or eat properly. He was far away from reading the journal. He knew reading the journal would make it better, but He didn want to. He wanted himself to suffer for no reason.

Sham kicked Evan out of the house so that Evan get some air. From weakness and numbness, Evan suddenly felt frustrated. It was so overwhelming for him that he couldn hold it in. He started running, he ran top the hill to the field. His legs felt like falling apart. He couldn breathe and fell on the grass.

People around him slowly left him alone. Evan takes a glance at the sky. blue and clear. The sun shined but wasn enough to harm His eyes. He breaths heavily in search of air. He stares at the endless abyss. He starts crying. He wanted to be strong but, He wasn able to solve the puzzle inside him.

People said crying helps, but they were wrong. For Evan, crying didn improve anything but destroyed everything. He was too afraid to be emotional, maybe he just knew If he shows his emotions, he wouldn be able to handle them. And, he was right.

Evan fell in love with darkness and pain. That, one week and 3days were the darkest periods. It was November end now. Evan was perfectly messed. He was brought up to be the best. To be the perfect person everyone wants him to be. He has been taught to win, therefore not once in this life has he lost anything.

He hasn been educated the most precious thing. That was how to get up when you fall. One day, Evan had hope. He got a text from his teacher that they need a computer teacher, and he seemed the right pick for it. Now, 30,000 R.s Won be much for you but for Evan It was everything. So, Evan went to the school he had studied before, but this time to teach.

He now was standing in his class, where students stared at him like an art piece. He clears his throat and introduces himself.

Evan- ”I am your new computer teacher. You all may address me as Sir. So, Have you all ever learned computer before? ”

The heads of little children finally showed some expression as they turned to nod no.

Evan- ”Okay. Lets go to the basics. ”

Evan started with the basics. No name from the history of computers was left from his mouth. It was lunch break. Evan stood in front of a tree, admiring the look of the mountain cliffs surrounding him. ”here. ” His teacher said as he passed the coffee cup to Evan.

Teacher- ”So, hows teaching here? ”

Evan- ”Nor easy nither hard. They seem to be not knowing about it much, but I feel like I can do my best to let them know all I know about. ”

Teacher- ”Hm, good to know you are finally trying. ”

Evan-….

Teacher- ”I see, you haven been reading that journal of yours. ”

Evan was taken aback but answers.

Evan- ”Yea…I wasn wishing to be okay or be motivated last few weeks. ”

Teacher- ”No issues. Some days you need to just lay down before getting up. ”

Evan sighs.

Evan- ”Everything seems known. I was a bit too used to at late night parties and loud music that now I am having trouble to fit in. ”

Teacher- ”Well, You don have to fit in. You can be different and still shine. ”

Evan chuckles as he sips his coffee.

Evan- ”Who says that? ”

Teacher- ”Irenie. ”

Evan- ”Oh- wait, what?! ”

Evan was astonished at his teachers statement, but before he asks His teacher, the teacher smiles and goes back inside. Evan sighs and tries to be calm.

Evan- ”are you all playing Sherlock Holmes? ”

By, _Anna_07_