Her Perfect Choice

It wasn until much later—after being caught by the Mother Superior with the novice that shed overheard a conversation that should have forever damaged her few and faint memories of the woman whod given birth to her; but it didn .

It was Christmas time and she was home from the convent school for the break. She enjoyed playing lady of the house to her father and his buddies from work. She served them beer and snacks while they watched sports on TV. One particular afternoon stood out.

Her father had gone out to replenish the beer supply. She served up another round while he was gone. She was going on fifteen at the time and had a natural adolescent curiosity about members of the opposite sex so after she delivered the tray of cold brews she hung around just outside the door listening to their crude and frequently profane conversation. She heard one of her fathers chums say,

That Maryanns getting quite a little body on her followed by anothers voice saying,

Yeah just like her mother … I wonder if she **s like her? A third voice chimed in,

If Jimmy hears you talking like that hell put your lights out.

The second voice responded,

Ah Harry you know what she was like and Jimmy knew too. She ** a snake if it had ears ta get a hold of There were a lot of guffaws after that comment. The first voice rejoined,

Its different where she was from … Denmark or Sweden … one of those free lovin countries. She was just doin what came naturally. We all did her … you did too Harry so don be so **in self-righteous. Then Harry replied,

Im not sayin I didn . I just don think its right to speak ill of the dead… sides ya weren talkin about Ilse anyway ya were talkin about his daughter.

Maryann recalled being so shocked by the revelation that her mother was unfaithful that she almost didn hear her father come in. When she did realize that he was back she had scurried up to the kitchen with the empties.

As she was placing the bottles in the case one of the few clear memories she had of her mom came to the surface. Sometimes her dad was away for days at a time. She didn understand then but now she knew that his skills were sometimes contracted out and that he traveled to remote jobsites. It seemed to her that when ever her daddy was away an aunt, one she never saw any other time would come and visit.

The aunt made her mom really tired because the two of them spent most of their time in bed and they never seemed to have any clothes on. Maryann recalled herself as a four year old, taking off her own clothes to be like the women she admired. Her aunt told her that she was going to be a less bean when she grew up, and laughed. She recalled thinking that she didn want to be any kind of a bean when she grew up; she wanted to be a fairy princess.

The next really clear memory she had after her mothers death was her enrolment at Holy Grace. She knew that it pained her grieving father to be apart from her, but James Flanagan did not feel comfortable raising a little girl without a woman to provide guidance. No, the only sensible thing for a good catholic to do was to enroll his young daughter with the Sisters of Holy Grace.

She came home on weekends—most of the time. Her dad was a welder and there were times in the year when he logged enormous amounts of overtime, and sometimes had to travel. So it was that little Maryann Flanagan would wind up being one of a very few girls left behind at the convent.

The sisters always had their own agendas on the weekend and it generally didn include entertaining left behind students. For the first six or seven years it meant a lot of reading and solitary game playing; then came Teresa. Maryann never really knew how old the novice was, just that she must have graduated to be in the position that she was in, and that she was much closer to her age than any of the nuns.

Watching her daughter administering the massage to their new neighbor brought back memories of that fateful Friday.