Forcefully married to my bully

I left him standing there in shock, does he think that he can bully me anytime he wants and apologize anytime he wants. He needs to know that I am not a goddamn TOY, he can control me, who does he think he is. I also need to admit that I was a bit harsh there with him, okay maybe too harsh, and I kinda feel guilty, feel like he didn deserve it. Okay I need to push these thoughts out of my head, I can feel sorry for him, he has been bullying me since freshman year, but still, I don feel like I got any weight off my shoulders instead I feel like I got more weight on my shoulders and why is that because I harshly talked to him, I just talked, he literary hits me and when he hits me it leaves scars on my body and these scars will never fade as fast as I want them to. The one question I got on my mind is something I have never expected from me Lorelai, the girl he bullies every day to think of, and I think this is the reason why I feel guilty, you all are wondering what the hell I am thinking of and what in the 7 hells is the question?

Well, I never expected to think of it but I know that if I told Dani about it she is going to murder me. The question is, Could I be falling for him? God, I need to push this thought out of my head because the aftermath of it will never be good. But as I make my way back to the cafeteria the only thing I think about is this and I don like it, I can never fall for him, remember Lorelai, he is your bully, he is your BULLY. As I make it back to the table, Dani hits me with all the types of questions like:

Did he hit you?

Are you okay?

What happened back there?

Why did he want to talk to you?

”Dani, calm down, he wanted to talk to me because he wanted to apologize for what he did to me, ” I said

”Well did you accept the apology? ”

”Of course not I am not an idiot, I kicked his ass. ”

” You did hit him, oh my god you are amazing! ” God, her squeaks are so loud, I mean shes my best friend, I love her and all but sometimes shes so loud that I want to strangle her.

”No you idiot I didn hit him, what I meant by that I kicked his ass is that I said mean things to him and I don want to get into the details because I don feel like talking about it, so can we please change the subject or else I swear to god I am going to leave you sitting here all alone, ” I said

”Okay lets change the subject, Nicholas asked me out and I was wondering if it was okay if I go out with him? but I completely understand if you don want me to go out with him like he is your brother and everything and I, just really … ” She kept blabbing on all these words so I cut her off by saying.

”Dani, he asked for my permission and I said yes, he would never ask you without asking me so just shut up and go out with him . ”

” OMG, really you are the best I love you so goddamn much ”

”Okay enough people are starting to stare just shut up and eat your goddamn food, or I will because I am extra hungry today, ” I said while laughing. But that didn change the fact that Noah was literary staring at me since I made my way back to the cafeteria (umm, stalker much!!), anyways the bell rang indicating that lunch was over and it was time for the next class. The rest of the day flew by really fast, before I know it I was in my car on the way home.

When I got home I started with the homework because I wasn in the mood to finish it later, while I was doing my homework I heard something hit my balcony door, so I opened it and I wished that I never opened it because, guess who stepped right in!! DRUMS ROLL! Noah stepped right into my bedroom.

”Noah?!what are you doing here?get out!! ” I whispered screamed at him.

”I actually kinda came here to apologize again and I don know what I did to you that made you hate me but if there is anything I could do to make you accept my apology I will be doing it willingly, ” he said so casually which made my blood boil.

”You don know what you made to me that made me hate you so much, god your life is so messed up because what you did wasn that much, you just have been bullying me since freshman year and it just left scars on my whole body that it even led me to think of committing suicide, even though I didn do it because I thought of the people who love me and care about me and when I thought about it all I felt was that you are a selfish person who only cares about himself and his reputation, so without further ado will you just leave my room because right now I want to punch you in the face, ” I said and my own words shock me because since when I know how to stand up for myself and how in the hell did this words enter my mind and now I do believe my mother when she told me that everybody has 2 sides and I guess this is my other side, the sassy one, I kinda like it I won lie. Noah stood there in shock because this is the second time this day I talk to him with attitude.

”Fine, you want me to leave I will, but all I wanted you to do was to trust me and I think that is impossible, ” he said.

”Noah, it isn impossible if you could recall my words from this morning, I said that I will trust you if you change, and THAT is what I think is impossible, but if you are willing to change that will make me so happy because it will make me feel safe when I am around you not run the other way every time I see you, ” I said

”Okay, I guess if you want me to change, then you will have to deal with a whole new person, ” he said

”And that my friend is exactly what I want, ” I said, and with no more words said he left my room. I don know why I am encouraging him, but something inside me is telling me that I should never leave him until I see the real change in him. And that is when I know that I am falling for him, Noah Brennon, my bully. Nah! Jk! He just needs to prove that hes a good person and that he changes right before I fall for him or even trust him! Or I am in love with him! Oh god, Im so confused!!

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Lots of love,

SamaXX