Chapter 45: May Blues

(POV Chiharu)

It was raining outside.
The sky was covered in dull-colored clouds, and dampness filled the room.

“Ahh, it’s so boring.” Chiaki exclaimed.

We found ourselves gathered around the desk on the second floor, diligently working on our homework, when Chiaki couldn’t hold back her frustration.
Since it was a holiday, the workload seemed to have multiplied, burdening us more than the usual weekdays.
Perhaps Chiaki’s frustration stemmed from being unable to venture outside due to the rain, compounded by the weariness of the tiring homework.

“Homework is so boring,” Chiaki complained.

“You’re so noisy! Ahh, I almost understood it just now!” Chinatsu said.

Chinatsu reacted to Chiaki’s complaint while resting her head in her hands and placing her pen down.
It seemed like her concentration had been broken.

“All you’ve been doing is yawning and twirling your pen around, before yawning again and again.” Chiaki retorted.

“W-well, even so! Your voice interrupted my divine concentration!” Chinatsu said.

“Come on, it must have already been interrupted.”

“Ah, forget it.
Homework time’s over all because of Aki.”

Chinatsu moved away from the desk and laid down.
Perhaps she was looking for a reason to quit doing homework.

Oh well, it cannot be helped; she must be at her limit, focusing on homework all this time.

While Chifuyu and I had finished our homework ahead of time and were helping the two of them, it seemed reasonable to take a break now, and Chifuyu also expressed this point with her gaze.
I’d really like to call Chifuyu “Sensei”.

“Hey, Fuyu.
Why are you so good at studying?” Chinatsu asked.

“Well… I haven’t really thought about it.” Chifuyu replied.

“What’s the point of studying anyway… I can’t find the motivation without a purpose.”

“Well, um…”

“Sigh, I feel like homework will never end.
It must be that May blues (May disease) thing.” Chinatsu added

Chinatsu murmured with a lethargic expression.
Indeed, with the damp and gloomy scenery outside, one could understand why the consciousness would feel heavy.
It would be difficult to tackle something one disliked and struggled with in this situation.

What was the purpose of studying? For those who were not fond of studying, this question lingered, and to ask them to study without solving this doubt was like asking them to do something at a high level.
Perhaps Chiaki also couldn’t get that aspect out of her mind.

“I’m down with May blues too~~ My brain lacks sugar~~ My loyal relatives~~ Bring me snacks~~ Fetch them for me~~ ” Chiaki declared.

“What kind of character is that even?” Chinatsu said.

“The~~ princess~~ move,” Chiaki replied.

“Could you stop talking like that?”

“May~~Blues~~”

“Ahhh~~come~~on~~I’m~~feeling~~down~~too~~” Chinatsu exploded.

Both of them lay on the floor, lazily talking and rolling around.
May blues(May’s disease), how dreadful.
It’s a type of psychological illness that affects one’s motivation and is mainly caused by changes in the environment.
It’s also known as June’s disease.
I think it affects people’s mental states.
Though, I wonder how true that is.

Is this really May blues? Well, it doesn’t really matter because they’re adorable.

“Natsu-nee and Aki-nee never seem to muster any motivation for homework.
I doubt it’s the May blues affecting them,” 

Chifuyu remarked, wearing a wry smile that suggested she attributed their lack of focus to something else entirely. 

Just then, a knock on the door interrupted our thoughts.
It was Onii-san.

“Sorry, can I come in?” he asked.

“Kaito, come in,” Chiaki replied on behalf of everyone.

Onii-san entered the room, holding a tray with cookies and tea.

“You’ve worked hard today.
These are some snacks I brought.
Feel free to eat them,” he said.

“Oooh, thank you! I needed some sugar,” Chiaki exclaimed.

“You all look worn out.
It seems like you’ve been working diligently….especially Chiaki and Chinatsu…” he remarked.

Onii-san placed the tray on the table.
The comforting aroma of tea and the sweet scent of cookies intermingled, instantly transforming the damp atmosphere into something vibrant.

Chiaki vented her frustrations as soon as Onii-san arrived, naturally focusing on the topic of studying.

“Studying is so dull~~, I don’t even understand the point~~” she grumbled.

“Hmm… I see… well, yeah, I guess so.
Even if you just go through the motions of studying, it’s hard to find any motivation.
That’s my theory, at least…” 

“Munch, munch, nom, nom.”

“Oh, right now, snacks are more important, huh…” Onii-san said.

Despite Chiaki initiating the conversation, she didn’t seem to be paying much attention to Onii-san’s words.
She and Chinatsu were happily devouring one cookie after another.
Then, she took a sip of the tea.

Before she joined her hands together, smiling contentedly.

“Thank you for the meal.”

“Did you manage to relax a bit?”

“I did!”

“Are you close to finishing your homework?”

“…”

May blues resurfaced once again.
The two had been smiling after finishing their meal, but as the topic of homework came up, their expressions turned empty.
Just at that moment, Chinatsu finished her snack time and approached Onii-san.

“Um, Kaito-san…”

“What’s up, Chinatsu?”

“Why do we have to study?”

I involuntarily blinked my eyes in surprise.
Chinatsu rarely initiated conversations with anyone other than her sisters.
She didn’t ask questions of teachers or anyone else.
If she did, it was usually limited to her sisters or me.

She didn’t engage in prolonged conversations with anyone outside her sisters, nor did she want to open up or show vulnerability.
She hardly shared any personal information, even within her class.

Lately, I’ve noticed an increase in the frequency of her interactions with Onii-san.
Of course, it doesn’t come close to the level of conversations Onii-san has with Chiaki and Chifuyu, but it’s evident that it’s gradually growing.

The previous agreement of talking for just one minute a day seems like a distant memory now.
They talk for at least five minutes every day without fail.

“Well… I apologize if this is just my theory, but simply put, it’s to expand your options,” he explained.

“Options?” Chinatsu questioned.

“In today’s society, there’s a heavy emphasis on academic achievements.
It’s often used as a measure to judge people.
Of course, it’s not just about studying.
It’s evident that there are talents and skills that cannot be measured by academic performance… However, whether you can study or not, it may be one of the easiest ways to gauge a person’s abilities.
Even when it comes to future employment, companies always seek talented individuals, so studying is important.
It’s essential for survival…” he elaborated.

“I-I see?” 

“Sorry, I’m not very good at explaining… I struggle with these kinds of things… I apologize,” he expressed.

“N-No, it’s okay…” Chinatsu assured him.

Chinatsu appeared slightly perplexed, indicating that she didn’t fully comprehend.
Onii-san, with a troubled expression, furrowed his brow.
He perhaps felt frustrated that he couldn’t provide a satisfactory answer to Chinatsu’s question.

Just then, Chiaki, who had been listening to the conversation, interjected.

“So, so does that mean those who can’t study… will be eliminated?!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“N-No, I wouldn’t go that far… but it’s highly likely that those who can study have a greater chance of achieving financial stability,” Onii-san clarified.

“S-So, does that mean I’ll end up living in a rundown apartment again?! I don’t want that!” Chiaki said.

“Don’t worry.
If that happens, you can always live in this house,” he reassured her.

“Oooh! I’ll be with Kaito forever!” Chiaki exclaimed happily.

“While you can find comfort in that, please make sure to study.
Studying is like an insurance,” he advised.

“Insurance?” 

“Doing what you love and pursuing the path you want to take is not a bad thing, but studying can serve as a safety net when things don’t go as planned or when you want to explore different paths or make a change.
So, it’s like having insurance,” he explained.

“I-I see… So, studying is necessary no matter what…” Chiaki muttered.

Chiaki held her head in her hands, struggling with the idea of studying.
It was something she didn’t enjoy and wasn’t particularly skilled at.
However, she might have gained a slight understanding that she couldn’t separate her dislike for studying from the necessity of it.

“Ugh, I don’t want to study…” she sighed.

She held her head for a few seconds, and then, as if struck by lightning or having come up with an ingenious invention from centuries past, her expression changed dramatically.

“I got it! I’ll study to become a full-time housewife!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Onii-san asked.

“If I marry Kaito, I can become his wife, and being a full-time housewife won’t be a problem! Studying won’t be a burden then!” Chiaki explained.

“Well, getting married to me is a not really an option….” Onii-san responded.

Well, everyone thought that Chiaki was just joking.
It seemed that way to anyone present.
However, there was one innocent soul who misunderstood the situation.

“No! That’s absolutely not allowed!” Chifuyu protested.

“Why not?” Chiaki questioned.

“Your reason is too flimsy! In that case, Chifu, uh, no, you should have a more solid reason! Marriage is a serious matter!” Chifuyu insisted.

“…Come on, it was obviously a joke, right?” 

“Huh…? J-Joke?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, that’s the most embarrassing thing ever…” 

Chifuyu blushed, covering her face with her hands.
Looking like a maiden in distress.
Overwhelmed with embarrassment, she crouched down, and Chiaki comforted her by patting her head.

A heartwarming atmosphere filled the room.
Time passed slowly, and eventually, Onii-san left the room, and we started our homework once again.

Chiaki seemed more focused now, perhaps because she had listened to Onii-san’s earlier conversation and her pen was moving on the paper.
I glanced at her, and next to her was Chinatsu, who seemed equally concentrated, but her pen wasn’t moving.
Chinatsu held her head as if deep in thought.

“I need to study.
It’s insurance for what I want to do… But what do I really want to do? What are the things I want to try… What is it that I want?” Chinatsu muttered to herself.

I wondered if she was okay.
Although she appeared concentrated, there was also a hint of inner turmoil.

“Chinatsu, are you alright?” I asked.

“I’m… I’m fine, Haru,” she replied.

“Are you sure? You seemed troubled by something,” I said.

“I’m fine.
Besides, I should focus on my homework…” 

Chinatsu picked up her pen and faced her homework on the desk.
I felt the urge to press her for more information, but I decided against it.
I didn’t want to interrupt her concentration on the task at hand.

◆◆

(POV Chinatsu)

“Do you know the five ‘sa-shi-su-se-so’ of cooking? If so, please raise your hand.”

“Yes!” “Yes!” “Yes!”

It was a particular day in the classroom, during our home economics class.
As I sat there, my mind wandered back to the events of the recent holiday, specifically something Kaito-san had mentioned about pursuing our desires.

What is it that I truly desire? Haru’s thoughts revolved around doing something for her sisters, while Aki’s focus was on indulging in delicious food.
Fuyu, on the other hand, simply aimed to keep moving forward.
Kaito-san had granted us the freedom to chase after our dreams.

Yet, amidst this newfound freedom, I struggled to pinpoint what I truly wanted to do or pursue.
These thoughts have been occupying my mind lately.

Observing my sisters as they undergo changes and progress, I felt an increasing urge to make a difference myself.
I just look around me and wonder whether I lack a strong sense of purpose.

“Yes, yes, then, can I have Chifuyu-san answer?”

“Sugar, salt, vinegar, soy sauce, miso.
Sa-shi-su-se-so.”

“Absolutely correct.
Let’s stick a Hanamaru sticker in the textbook.”

Fuyu is my younger sister, the fourth and youngest child.
The phrase “model student” suits her perfectly.
She excels in both academics and looks, although she’s not good at sports.
But that doesn’t mean she ever runs away or gives up.
She’s a hard worker.

Even though I should be the older sister, she’s more responsible than I am.

“…”

Aki was doodling in the textbook up front.
She had many childish aspects, and sometimes I thought she was more like a child than I am.
But occasionally, she puts on a more mature face than anyone else, and that’s what puzzles me.

And then there’s Haru, gazing warmly from behind.
Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
The existence of an older sister was much bigger and carried more pressure than I ever imagined.

Haru was the one I admired.

Haru was actually fragile, vulnerable.

I know that, and I’ll never forget what happened back then.
The time when Haru rejected us.

However, now Haru confidently and fearlessly carried herself as an older sister, leaving behind any self-doubt or weakness.
She had unwavering convictions, stronger and more resolute than anyone else.

I couldn’t compete with her.
I couldn’t compete with Haru.
I knew that.
I never had the intention of competing in the first place.
I just wanted to peacefully and subtly live in this sibling relationship.
But I was being influenced by the changes I saw in my younger sisters.

If I could find something I wanted to do, maybe something would change.

That’s what I believed.

“Yes, so don’t forget your aprons and ingredients for next week’s cooking practice,” the teacher said.

“Stand up, pay attention, bow, sit down.” 

The class came to an end.
I brushed off the dull jokes from some of the boys and put my textbook back on the desk.

Oh, right, there was a cooking practice coming up.
We would be handling actual knives.
The atmosphere in the class seemed filled with excitement and impatience.
Haru and my sisters didn’t seem particularly thrilled, as if they were concerned about me.
It left me with indescribable emotions.

Just when I smiled and was about to tell them not to be mindful of me, Chiai approached me first.

“Here’s a super difficult puzzle!”

“That’s so sudden.”

Suddenly, the Chiai Quiz began.
She was probably trying to cheer me up.

“I saved ten ants (Ari ga jubbiki) that were about to be defeated by a praying mantis.
What did the ants say? If you answer correctly, you’ll receive my snacks for today! If you answer incorrectly, Chinatsu’s snacks will be confiscated!”

“Hmm, this is easy.
With ten ants (Ari ga jubbiki), it means the ants said ‘Thank you’ (Arigatou) in gratitude.
That’s the answer.”

“Bzzt! Incorrect! Ants don’t speak in the first place! So the correct answer was that they didn’t say anything! Too bad! Snacks confiscated!” Aki exclaimed.

“What?! Isn’t that cheating?”

“I said it was a super difficult puzzle, didn’t I?”

Haru and Fuyu, who were watching the scene, chuckled.
Aki sometimes played the clown, genuinely enjoying those moments.
But there were also times when she purposefully acted like one.
And now was one of those times.

I realized that everyone had grown up.

By the way, my snacks were safe…

************

TN: “May Disease” or “May Blues” It refers to a condition where students or new employees experience a sense of fatigue, anxiety, or depression during the month of May.
It’s the transition of situations that gives that feeling.

TN: The “sa-shi-su-se-so” are a set of five basic Japanese seasonings used in cooking.
Here they are:

Sa (さ): SaltShi (し): Sugar Su (す): Vinegar Se (せ): Soy Sauce So (そ): Miso 

 Theyre called  “sa-shi-su-se-so” for easy memorization.